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Vantela tier, pella firima hen.

书云 吴

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June 21

Up

上星期去看了Pixar的新片Up,心情久久不能平静。。。由于这个星期没有要看的片子(最后凑合看了个Angels and Demons),于是决定写点什么

虽然作为Pixar的粉丝他们家出的东东肯定都会买票去看,但说实话这个片子我在看了trailer以后并没有抱太大的期望。 前两年的Ratatouille和Wall-E都是第一次看到trailer就被深深吸引了以至于每天数着日子等首映,这次顶多算是列到了必看电影的名单上了而已。 总体感觉可能是继Finding Nemo以后Pixar家第二部完全骗小孩电影,当然这是我最最不希望看到的。

进了电影院就发现我完全估计错误,这不但不是一部骗小孩的片子,其深度远远超过了之前任何一部Pixar动画。

一直都觉得自己是一个很没感情的人,以前去看定影经常是看到满场的人哭得稀里哗啦我还完全不知道是怎么回事。可是这次恰恰相反: 大家都戴着3D眼镜,吃着爆米花,等待下一个搞笑镜头的出现,我却不由自主地不断抹眼泪。说来可能有点奇怪,我这样一个每个月要上好几次电影院的人,这还是有生以来第一次在电影院里掉眼泪。 不知道为什么,这个片子似乎触动了我的哪根敏感的神经。

生命中有太多这样的事了,一直在追求的梦想一次次地由于各种原因无法去实现,最后就像片中那个他们用来存钱的玻璃罐子那样被尘封在柜子上,时光流逝,当我们再次想起那个被搁置着的梦想的时候可能人生也快走到尽头了。 Ellie第一次出场的时候说等她长大了一定要去xxx探险并要Carl发誓一起去; 其实,又有谁小时候没有发过这样的誓呢?结果就像大多数人一样,Ellie一直到老死都没有完成这个梦想。想做的事,无论看上去多么遥远都千万不能放手;否则,一不小心可能一辈子就这样过去了。 往往是小时候等着“长大“,真的“长大“了以后绝大多数人早已在现实的打磨下忘记了那件“一定要做的事”,那小部分还记得的人也会因为眼前的种种琐事把实现那个梦想的计划搁置下来。人们会告诉自己这个梦想虽然一定要完成,但是并不紧迫,可以以后再做。这样一来往往一辈子就从指尖滑过,像电影里一样,Carl一直到老了发现小时候的本子才意识到这个计划还没有实现,而之后他终于攒够了钱买了机票已经太晚了。 很多人可能都是这样吧?把梦想拖到不再有能力去实现它的时候,留下的只有叹息。

第二个触动我的地方是在后半段Carl发现Ellie临终前给他留的字条,其中 'Thanks for the adventure' 这句话可以有多种理解,我觉得它是想表达虽然他们并没有去成Paradise falls; 但人生本身就是一次探险,即使平平淡淡。接着是鼓励Carl既然还活着就应该面对当下,去寻找新的adventure。 片中由于这些东西的重量,气球无法再让房子飞起来了,于是Carl必须把那些陪他走过一辈子的东西一件件扔出去;最后的最后他把房子也舍弃了。这时候 我突然想起有次小Pugh跟我说起他搬家的事,他说'You won't understand because you are only twenty. But when you are my age, you own more stuff...and stuff are burdens."。 没错,现实中确实有很多人活在回忆之中,我想随着年龄的增长,拥有的和经历的事物会积累起来,而到了一定程度以后,它们就会由财富变为累赘。 也许,无论有多舍不得都应该适时摒弃一些即使曾经对我们很重要的东西,这样才会有足够的空间留给现在,才不至于活在过去吧? 这大概很难做到。

顺带提一下我觉得那个胖小孩非常多余。大概是Pixar也意识到了本片过于沉重,完全没有小孩的看点才勉强加上的吧?这也不能怪他们了,总的来说这个片子的意义远远超出了我的期望值,在此强烈推荐大家去看。
May 26

--

Regarding the previous entry, I sincerely apologize for inappropriately classifying one of my fellow student. I have no personal interaction or personal conflict with this particular student. I have no reason to make any negative comments on the moral stature or sincerity of the student in any public setting. Mathematics should and will always be the common reason that makes us here. I hope to clarify, by posting the entry I did not intend to attract any public attention against any individual. The focus of the original letter was to address some possible issues of our program and discuss the possible improvements that can be made.  I am very sorry if what I have posted has caused any unpleasant consequences.
April 05

下面是为自己将来回头看的时候写的

我相信四年后我拿到PhD的时候会清楚地看到这个决定的正确性。

就好像此时此刻我很确定如果当时本科进了MIT就一定不会有现在的我了。

没错这样的选择是"浪费"了一些更难得到的东西,Northwestern也完全算不上什么难进的学校。。。

但是归根结底,我又不是凭侥幸进了普林,只要自己相信这一点,

需要的只是一个可以踏实地作学问的地方吧。。。自信到一定程度就完全没有必要争取炫耀的资本了

喜欢西北是因为系上气氛和谐,有志同道合而且会很愿意和我讨论问题的教授们。

普林的话,即使不是因为傲慢,人一有名也自然就会忙很多事。

真正需要的不是一个得过费尔兹奖的导师;

而是一个能足够重视我,能花心思陪我一起思考问题又兴趣相似的导师,仅此而已。

如果能有机会一起学习不熟悉的领域当然更好。

就这点看Northwestern就是比普林好得多的选择。

自从拒绝了各个学校的Offer以后,就和所有其他的进西北的研究生没什么两样了呢^_^



(昨天发在校内上了,但是还是决定复制过来。。。因为这个space记载了从高中,本科开始的每一个申请和每个重要的决定)

终究还是彻底放下了虚荣心,走了该走的路

其实昨天在Northwestern的时候我就很清楚那是我最喜欢的一个学校

发现有时候的自己也会很肤浅, 肤浅到我平时完全看不起的程度

整整24小时我下不了决心拒绝Princeton正是因为那名字被赋予的光芒

口口声声说我毕业后不会要依靠学校的名声才能成功

但是真的必须在华丽和平凡的鲜明对比中选择的时候还是犹豫了

我想作为一个学者这种犹豫是完全不可容忍的吧?

去了学校,听了小Pugh的意见,

终于有了足够的勇气去拒绝Princeton

按下发送突然觉得也就是那么回事

适合自己的地方无论在别人看来多不起眼也该是第一志愿

总结: 奇迹发生,我爱上了Northwestern,于是决定去那读博,一切结束。


March 22

选学校的那些事。。。

最近一个多月来一直心力交瘁。。。可能有很多人不理解,明明申请的学校几乎都录取了,为什么我每天看上去甚至比周围那些还在苦苦等待的同学们还要苦恼。。。

实际上事情远比看上去的复杂:

一个月前,小Pugh对我说,他不是今年就是明年,肯定会回到Berkeley。 于是一切都好,我当然要跟着他去Berkeley。 当时态度坚决到在别的学校基本都还没出结果前就在电话里和Berkeley的系主任打了包票说我95%会去Berkeley。

但是就在系主任打给我电话的几天后,小Pugh突然说他拿到Funding,所以要在多大再呆至少一年,而且之后也不确定会去哪里。。。此消息犹如晴天霹雳,导致我一时完全失去方向。

与此同时,拿到了其他几个学校的录取通知。

(小插曲:斯坦福的教授发来信说他们打算拿我的材料申请学校的Fellowship, 每个系有“极少”的名额,问我到底多大可能会去。。。于是我马上回信让他们别申,因为我并不觉得我会而且就算要去我也不会在乎少拿点钱的。。。一天后他回信来说还是申了>.<。。。汗,那之前问我是干什么用的?)

定了定神,告诉自己别老依恋现有的东西,于是决定从头开始,去各个学校看看再说。

Toronto-->Stanford-->Berkeley--> Princeton-->Toronto。

总体感觉:。。。还是家里(多大)最好。。。那三家比较起来还比较倾向于Princeton。可以说Berkeley彻彻底底地让我失望了。

回到家,跟小Pugh从头到尾详细描述了在各个学校的经历以及我的想法。。。他斩钉截铁地说我应该去Princeton。

我说我想留在这里,他不同意。。。

我说如果留在这里,我有信心一年以后能转到任何他决定去的地方。。。
他表示相信这个我有能力办到,但是依然不同意。。。

于是我决定先把Berkeley拒了:很客气地写了封信,表示我不会去了,但是感谢。。。这才发现原来拒绝一个学校是那么伤体力感情和脑细胞的一件事:

等了两天,没有回信。。。然后,小Pugh说他收到了Berkeley的信。。。问他我到底是为什么不去,以及还有没有希望说服我。。。

晕。。。这些事竟然不直接回信给我,还去和我老师说? 看来学校为了招点学生还真是花了不少精力啊。。。

于是,在我们好几个人的一再努力下,我们终于在尽量不打击对方的前提下,让Berkeley招生的教授们死心了。

其实也想先把Stanford也拒了的说。。。但是刚发了封信说我挺喜欢Princeton的时候(他们来信问我后来的旅程怎么样),就来了封超级无敌长的回信。。。他非常仔细地分析了我的情况并列出了一大堆Stanford比Princeton更适合我的理由 >.< 于是实在不好意思马上回信说我已经不在考虑Stanford了。。。哎。。只好先感谢他的建议,暂缓一下吧。。。

于是有了现在的状况。。。我想呆在这里跟着小Pugh。。。他要我去Princeton。。。。然后还有一堆学校三天两头地来信搞得我实在是难以启齿拒绝他们。。。(可是谁都知道我只能去一个学校的啊。。。搞得我再难以开口最后不还是必须拒的?)
December 02

Personal statement

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\title{Statement of Purpose}

\author{ Shuyun (Conan) Wu }
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In summer 2007, after high-school graduation, I went to the Canada/USA Mathcamp - the place where I first learned about topology, abstract algebra, real analysis and much more. At the time, this was a strange new universe for me. Since then I knew mathematics is the career I will pursue. Later that summer, I was invited to Russia for the Tournament of Towns Summer Conference. While there, I did a project on the carpenter's rule problem - a discrete geometry problem that states the following:
\begin{problem}
Can every carpenter's rule (a finite number of segments with fixed lengths joined by vertices) in $\mathbb{R}^2$ be
straightened? (be deformed to a straight line segment by an isotopy that avoids self-intersection and preserves edge
lengths)
\end{problem}
After being open for thirty years, a positive answer was given by Robert Connelly, Erik Demaine and G\"{u}nter Rote in 2000. Under the guidance of Professor Panina, I worked through a series of problems which leads to the proof. In the process I came up with elegant counterexamples to some of the intermediate problems which were not known to the professor. We expanded on the topic of pointed graphs in the plane and sphere (one of the tools used in the proof of the carpenter's rule problem) and discussed some of her research topics afterwards.

At the end of that summer, I started my undergraduate study in mathematics at University of Toronto. As an undergrad I focused on getting a general idea in all main branches of mathematics as well as working on some more difficult problems that interest me. During my first year, this ``problem part'' was mostly devoted to the three-star problems in Professor Charles Pugh's real analysis textbook -- those problems which he ``did not know the answer to''. I gained much courage and satisfaction by solving six of them.

At the beginning of summer 2008, I got the opportunity to work on a research project under the University of Toronto Excellence Award - a grant offered each year to around forty undergraduate students in all science and engineering for supporting their proposed research projects. This enabled me to work with professor Pugh throughout the summer months on continuum theory and the elusive fixed point conjecture:
\begin{problem}
Does every continuous map from a non-separating plane continuum into itself have a fixed point?
\end{problem}
I explored special cases of the problem while learning about the progress made on the problem to date. Along the way I have been making attempts in constructing counterexamples, although none worked yet. Through doing this I now fully understand many interesting continua such as the pseudo-arc, the bucket-handle, lake of Wada and numerous original constructions I came up with. It was an extremely pleasant experience working with Professor Pugh; he is always inspiring and full of interesting ideas. Under his influence, I found myself being most interested in real analysis and topology among other kinds of mathematics.

During my second and final year, through an introductory graduate course, I became fascinated by the subject of dynamical systems, especially the parts related to topology. In particular, I found Stephen Smale's work on Axiom A dynamics being absolutely beautiful. Perhaps dynamics is the field I will choose to work in.

Aside from classes, I have been participating in the Fields Institute seminar on the Kakeya conjecture since the beginning of this semester. This is a well-known outstanding problem, and yet the statement is extremely simple:
\begin{problem}
Any Kakeya set in $\mathbb{R}^n$ must have Hausdorff dimension $n$.
\end{problem}
I have mainly been attempting to find counterexamples and am currently trying to apply set-theoretical methods to get  consistency results for the existence of such examples. In the process of doing so, I got a more through understanding of the Hausdorff dimension and other related concepts in fractal geometry. Through many discussions with Professor Guth and various other experts in the Kakeya conjecture, I have learned a lot both about Kakeya and analysis in general.

Throughout my undergraduate study, I have always been doing set theory as a side topic. Although I am not planning to become a set-theorist, I believe in the strong connection between set theory and analysis, especially when it comes to forcing and consistency results. At least, having background in set-theory adds an interesting viewpoint when attempting to solve problems.

On the other hand, I believe teaching is a part of mathematician's job. Hence I started to work as a teaching assistant in my second year, delivering two tutorials sessions per week to a freshmen calculus class. I have been trying to find the most efficient way to explain concepts while keep the audiences interested. Due to the success of my tutorials, I am recently given the opportunity to TA the honors third-year real analysis course in the coming spring term. This is going to be a new challenge since the job is usually taken by an upper-year graduate student.

For many reasons, I have always been longing to pursue graduate studies at UC Berkeley. Despite the fact that it's one of the most distinguished departments in the world, I am deeply attracted by its unique culture in mathematics and the diversity of its faculty's research fields. I have a clear vision of myself fitting in Berkeley's broad and active department and getting further in mathematics.

\end{document}

 
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